Hello again! I hope these blogs are helping you to understand more about the DISEASE of ADDICTION. It took me years of study to truly understand it, so I empathize with those of you who have loved ones suffering with their demons. How you, as a spouse, Mother, Father, sibling, handle your relationship with an addict impacts them tremendously. They may not care to show that while they are using, but your support through that time will definitely be rewarded once they are in recovery. I know this from first hand experience with my own son.
Trust is probably the most touchy issue within this addiction dynamic. You have probably lost all faith in the addict because of his or her lies and manipulations. If your loved one is truly in recovery and working their 12 steps, then this would be the time to sit down and talk to them about exactly what they are doing to maintain their sobriety. Yes, people, ASK QUESTIONS!!! Communication is the key to success here as with any relationship. They should now be ready to quietly and calmly talk to you about their reasons for using and how you may have impacted them during that time.
When you have this talk please BE PREPARED. Before you sit down, simply write a list of the questions. Be patient with them as they answer and do not judge them for any criticism they may toss at you. This should be a time of honest, open discussion, not bashing.
Finally, I would advise to be as loving and supportive of them now in their recovery as you can possibly be. We tend to walk on eggshells while they are using as well as when they are sober. Not necessary if you can talk frankly about how both of you truly feel, NOW.
Feel free to email me with any questions you may have about this topic at firstname.lastname@example.org
Until next time… Be Blessed