It’s been a while since I’ve posted on my blog and to be honest, I don’t post all that much on my own social media either other than an occasional anecdote. Back in January, my business Sandy Lo Media started to ramp up and then it accelerated even more just as this whole quarantine began.
As I get older, I realize why dreams are put on hold and forgotten about. Life takes hold of you. This COVID-19 business is basically that idea magnified. While my business is booming, so many businesses out there aren’t. So many projects are put on hold and jobs have been lost.
Those kids who dreamed about their graduation days and proms have to settle for virtual events. I can’t imagine what it’s like for all of them. I can’t imagine what it’s like for that actor who was finally getting their big break only to be told they can’t begin filming or that the release date has been pushed back.
Or to those who were just starting to interview for a new job, but now are stuck in something they hate because no one is hiring right now.
Dreams lost or put on hold feel minor in the grand scheme of it all when people are sick, dying, or without food, and many people are going through this quarantine all alone. Still, as someone who values the worth of a dream — it can all feel hopeless right now.
I’m grateful for all of the overwhelmed feelings I have about my very fortunate position — to have a full-time job and a growing side business is a rare thing. I’m not going to sit here and complain that I don’t have time to write or market novels because I’m too busy with work or making money … but I thought it was important to share why there is a delay in something I thought I’d have out by now.
If I’m truly honest with you, it’s deeper than being too busy. Anxiety and depression are things that are part of my life now and have been for longer than I wanted to admit. Growing up a seemingly happy-go-lucky person, I didn’t see it coming. I also wasn’t taught that it was okay to feel what I’m feeling.
As an indie writer, there are times I feel no one pays attention to what I write anyway, so there’s no pressure to release something. I have a core group of faithful readers, but the reason I write is not for anyone but myself so I’m okay with not being a best seller. Sure, it would be nice, but I write these happily ever after scenarios to give myself hope. I get pure enjoyment from writing and I’ve shied away from it these days as much as I used to rely on it.
Whether it’s not enough time or it’s my own mental warfare I’m going through, I seem to turn away from writing when I should be clinging to it most.
Quarantine has taught me a lot of things though … like how important it is to take breaks throughout the day and to call up a friend. I know I’m not alone in my anxiety, especially during this time and I hope you all know you’re not alone either.
I know how especially important entertainment is in times of need. Recently, I binged the Netflix series, Never Have I Ever, and it brought me so much joy. It actually gave me the same feelings I felt when I wrote the first book in the Dream Catchers Series. I was so invested in Jordan and Haley just like I became invested in Devi, Paxton, and Ben’s characters. It gave me an escape and put a smile on my face, but most of all, it brought me hope.
That’s what these stories do for us — it encourages us to keep dreaming. That’s so important. When I’m not dreaming, I feel broken. To dream means you’re alive and you think your life is worth living. I hope you never stop dreaming because you are worth it.❣??✨