Originally I was going to write this long, detailed blog about how bad my night sucked… Then I thought, “Why waste my energy?” At this point–sitting at home finally–feeling relaxed…Why rehash the day’s unfortunate events?
Yes, I spent almost 4 hours traveling just to stand outside the Museum of Sex only to be allowed inside the overcrowded place and not get any real interview, photo or even a “hi” out of my favorite band… That’s the way it goes in this industry. Promises made and broken…and then you’re lied to on top of it. At least I let the publicist know I was onto his lies unlike all of the other press members who just complained and did nothing about it.
Anyway, to sum it all up: I felt robbed of an opportunity, robbed of transportation money I need to be saving for my move, and robbed of time I could have spent writing or promoting or interviewing someone else!
Then on the $20 cab ride home, I felt frustrated tears come to my eyes. That’s how I release–I don’t really get too angry, I just need a good cry. The cab driver, seeing I’m upset, tells me how he was homeless four years ago. He lost everything, and now, he’s building himself back up.
All I could think was how insignificant my one wasted disappointment of a night really would be by tomorrow. How I could let an event that I was fortunate enough just to attend get me so down… And then I thought about my move and how it will be amazing because I need this time away from New York and all its forms of claustrophobia… It made me smile.
Oddly enough, the song on the radio at the time in the cab was “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. It seemed so fitting — well, just these two lines:
I can feel it comin’ in the air tonight, oh Lord
I’ve been waitin’ for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I believe in messages and things happening for a reason. I learned a lot tonight that I had forgotten. I needed to be reminded. I think my mother was trying to send me a message earlier…I couldn’t find my tape recorder before I left the house today, though I know exactly where I left it last. Thanks Mom, I got the message–I expect to see my tape recorder in the morning.
I no longer feel angry or disappointed. I feel grateful and humbled by the experience. There are far worse things in life and I’ve been very fortunate. And I’m also optimistic that one day I will meet Jared Leto, haha.
Today was just not meant to be.