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All That I’m Not Makes Me All That I Am

It’s easy to get caught up in envy of others who we feel are more beautiful, successful, funnier, and the list goes on and on.  We’re all guilty of wanting what we don’t have.

During my morning commute the other day, I admired a young woman’s hair.  It was long, strong and looked like she hadn’t fussed with it at all.  It wasn’t thin like my hair or extra coarse.

I could never pull off long hair, with the baby-fine strands I’ve been blessed-or cursed-with.  While admiring the woman’s hair, I came up with the title for this post.  I thanked God I can pull off all of the fake ponytails and hair extensions I wear frequently.  I can go from long hair to short to blonde to reddish to dark in seconds and people sometimes never catch onto my secret!

See, I was born with hair that changes like eye color.  If I put a darker color extension in, my hair looks darker, and the same with a lighter one.  So many people have told me they could never pull it off, but I make it work.

While that’s great for my hair problems, this post isn’t really about that.  It’s about accepting who we are and what we have as well as who we’re not and what we don’t have.

I was always a plus-size girl – growing up and into adulthood.  The past few years I’ve been able to teeter along the lines of “regular” size and those additional X’s.  Sometimes I make a big deal about having to buy those bigger sizes.  Sometimes it is because I’ve gained weight and sometimes it’s about the style and the design of the clothing.

That’s when I remind myself that these numbers don’t matter.  All that matters is that I like the way the clothes make me feel.  I may never be a size small or a medium or even a large, but I am trying to remind myself that size is just a stupid number or letter manufacturer’s make up.  It is not a science and no one fits a perfect mold – no matter what size we tend to wear.

Admiring someone else is a great thing, but beating yourself up for not being that person is futile and damaging.  What you’re telling yourself is, “I’m not good enough”.

This is not only true with appearances, but in careers and parenting as well.  I am guilty of it – at times feeling jealous of other writers for making more money or getting more exposure than I do.  Everyone has their own journey and timing.  All we can do is keep working hard and stay filled with a hunger to achieve our goals, without letting self-doubt creep in.

Although, I am not a mother – I know all of my Mom friends out there feel the pressure to be the perfect parent.  With social media comes tons of input on what items to buy, how to raise your child, and what to do/not to do in your pregnancy.  Wow, as if becoming a parent wasn’t scary and tough enough – now you have to live up to the “perfect Mom society”?  Again, you do what’s right for you and your child.  There is more than one way to do things and everyone has their bad days.  Don’t be fooled by the smiling family photos and the bragging Moms with clean houses, home cooked meals, and who have were never on the verge of losing their minds.

Believe me, all of the advice I’m dishing right now is definitely advice I need to keep taking myself.  I have my bad days, but I am trying to make them less frequent.  I am trying to not beat myself up when I slack off of work, my routine, exercise or ate too much vegan pizza.  Telling myself that it’s okay when I’m not perfect and that I’m still beautiful and a go-getter is the most important thing to do.

When I feel good about myself, I’m rewarded in so many ways.  Not only do I feel happy for no particular reason, but others seem to be drawn to me.  I receive compliments about my smile or strangers randomly start a conversation with me.

When we love ourselves, it truly does shine outwardly to others.

There’s my Tony Robbins speech of the week 🙂 Have a good one!  Love you guys.

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